*MEGA GIANT SPOILER WARNING. HUGE SPOILERS FOR ALL OF PRETTY LITTE LIARS, INCLUDING SEASON 6, EPISODE 11*
It’s been a long few months but it’s time for the 6B premiere of PLL and I. Cannot. Wait. I’ve been watching the show since the first episode aired (ah, the halcyon days of yore) and I’m just as addicted/compelled/confused as I was back then.
6A had its issues, of course, but I’m holding out faith that the team can pull it back and explain some of the, er, discrepancies that the last finale didn’t clear up. I’m pretty much peeing my pants with excitement at seeing Spencer, Hanna and co. return to Rosewood, so let’s get cracking, shall we?
First up – Hopes for 6B
Don’t mess around with Hanna and Caleb, just don’t do it. Let them have a break if you must but, so help me God, if the season doesn’t end with those two together and happy…SO HELP ME GOD.
If we’re going to do the whole Aria/Ezra thing, please don’t make it mind-numbingly boring like it has been for the past, oh I don’t know, MILLION episodes.
No Lorenzo. Please.
Please make me care about Ali again because, at the moment… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Can we maybe let Emily catch a break this season?
And most importantly… NO SARA HARVEY. PLEASE, MARLENE. I’M SUPER SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.
Right, so now that’s out of the way… My thoughts on the episode, typed as I watched it:
- Aw, Spencer’s ‘Hanna Banana’ from the last finale always makes me smile.
- Okay, five years later, shit’s getting real.
- Ali’s a teacher. The girl who’s 23 and didn’t graduate high school. SURE.
- Ali’s going to get with this doctor guy. Calling it now.
- Oh for the love of green screen in Spencer’s scene!
- So Ezra got published. Presumably not the creepy Ali book.
- HANNA HAS A BABY? IT BETTER BE CALEB’S. Oh, never mind.
- A!!! CHARLOTTE!!! The teddy bear on the bed is supposed to make us feel bad for her. Subtle teddy bear is subtle.
- Baby PLLs! This is like the last scene from Mean Girls.
- Emily’s popping pills. Of course. Girlfriend can’t catch a break, can she?
- PLL selfie game as strong as expected.
- Okay, Emily is CLEARLY not actually at university.
- Ohhhh A is being released? Sheeeet.
- The Mums are no longer in the basement – hooray.
- WHO IS FRANK? Where is Papa Fields? Papa Fields is dead? Nooo.
- Radley is now a swanky af hotel, Rosewood logic. Mama Marin is in charge? I LOVE that.
- WHO IS JORDAN?! Omfgggg the sound of a million Haleb shipper hearts breaking around the world.
- Oh, Byron, why did you bring Ezra up? Right, so Nicole died in South America, making Ezra conveniently single. Although she probably didn’t die and will reappear as soon as Aria and Ezra get back together.
- I want to hear Byron trying and failing to say ‘controversial’ on a loop.
- ‘Don’t be cynical, Spencer.’ Um, have you met your daughter, Veronica? Love the Mama Hastings running for Senator storyline already.
- Cue a million fashion bloggers trying to find out where Aria’s jacket is from.
- I just…can’t with Aria and Ezra any more.
- Brotherhood of Ex-Boyfriends – awkward but amazing.
- I can’t believe Ali is expecting them to be cool with this. Like…she is such a terrible friend. My sister tortured you for years, kidnapped you and tried to kill you but can you convince the court to release her? NO, ALI.
- Don’t tell me Sara Harvey’s coming back… Please. I don’t even care what happened to her that night at Radley.
- MONA! She definitely got corrupted by Big A when she stayed behind in that screening room in the 6A finale, didn’t she?
- Toby and Emily hanging out like season one all over again. Sharing an ‘our lives are shit, aren’t they?’ beer.
- SPENCER’S CAPE WINGS ARE EVERYTHING.
- Aria’s written herself a damn essay.
- Did she just say Braintree? I bet Braintree in America is more glam than Braintree in Essex.
- Don’t…just don’t mention Sara Harvey. I won’t accept that she’s coming back.
- ‘I can’t turn my phone all the way off.’ I feel you, Spencer, I feel you.
- Electroshock Margarita, Manic Depressive Mai Tai…Tumblr will not approve of this.
- Emily’s glee at someone else picking up the bar tab is me.
- I can’t believe they let Charlotte out. SERIOUSLY. They let A out!!!
- So I reckon the ominous security camera was left up from the Radley days and someone (probably Mona, let’s be real) is monitoring it. Right? That’s going to be a thing, isn’t it? If so, Mama Marin cut major corners in the refurbishment.
- I love that hungover PLLs still look better than a good 99.9% of the world’s population.
- I’m already bored of this ‘Emily popping pills’ storyline.
- Oh what a surprise, A did a runner. NO ONE SAW THAT COMING (</sarcasm>).
- OH SHIT! A’S DEAD! OKAY PLL, OKAY, I ACTUALLY DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!!
- How many people have had accidents in that bell tower?! Also, ughhhhhh, Lorenzo. He’s the worst.
- I mean, I should be sad but I just don’t really care about Ali…is that bad? Am I alone in this?
- Obligatory hand holding to bait the Emison shippers.
- CALEB! HOT DIGGITY DAMN, THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
- Ugh stop pretending Spencer and Caleb are getting it on. We’re not falling for that. Haleb forever. Although…Caleb and Spencer would be such a power couple. But no.
- ‘Roadie for a bunch of dresses’ is a brilliant description of 90% of jobs in the fashion industry.
- Are we going to find out later on that Spencer and Caleb hooked up once while they were working together? Spencer’s got priors, let’s be fair…Wren, Ian. Nah, I have faith.
- Another PLL funeral. Is Toby sitting in the Brotherhood of Ex-Boyfriends row with Caleb and Ezra?
- OH FFS. FUCK OFF, SARA HARVEY. I CAN’T WITH THIS BITCH.
- And now, standing outside the church, is the exact moment when all four of them should get a group text.
- GOD I HATE SARA HARVEY.
- ’Stay in Rosewood.’ ’Why?’ ‘So we have a plot for this season.’
- Oh, now who is that in the car? Mona? I…have no other suggestions at this point.
Final thoughts: Sara Harvey can’t be killed off soon enough. I miss Haleb. PLL is BACK and I love it.